The Miami Marlins’ “beautiful” home run sculpture apparently isn’t going anywhere

While South Florida thankfully only has a few Confederate monuments—a couple of streets named after Confederate generals—there is a sculpture sitting in the heart of Miami that absolutely has to go: The home run sculpture at Marlins Park.

With its eclectic mix of colors, skittish movement, and lights, it’s a miracle nobody has had a seizure in the five years since the park opened. Did I mention it cost $2.5 million? Only six players on the team’s entire roster will earn more this season.

No offense to the creator, but it should be lit on fire.

Where’s this rage coming from? Well, up until today many fans were in celebration mode not only because there will almost certainly be new ownership—adios Jeffrey Loria!—in place before next season, but because Derek Jeter and his partners floated the idea of potentially removing that eyesore in centerfield.

Only the Miami Herald reports they can’t, even if they wanted to:

It was commissioned as part of Miami-Dade’s Art in Public Places program, which requires construction of county buildings to include art as well. The sculpture, named “Homer,” cost $2.5 million and, like Marlins Park, belongs to Miami-Dade’s government.

“The County commissioned and purchased the Home Run Sculpture with the public art funds generated by the ballpark project,” Michael Spring, head of the county’s cultural affairs arm, said in an email Thursday. It “was designed specifically for this project and location and is permanently installed. It is not moveable.”

Even Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez despises the thing, with his communications chief saying that while “Mayor Gimenez appreciates art in public places... that particular structure, not so much.”

Maybe it’s not that bad and it’s just that I and its many detractors are associating it with Loria and the rotten things he’s done to the city and its fans over the years.

Perhaps they can at least put a tarp over the thing, like what they used to do in the old stadium’s upper deck seats in an attempt to disguise the fact that no fans were attending the games.